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  • Writer's pictureMai Le

Selfish mama???

No one ever tells you how truly selfless it is to be a mom. Sure they tell you how amazing motherhood is and how it's changed your life for the better, but what they don't tell you is how your never going to the bathroom alone, your bed is no longer yours or that most of your meals are the kiddos leftovers. Now I don't want to scare you off and have you think okay motherhood sucks, it's true motherhood is so amazing. It has truly changed my life and not to sound like a cliche, but I have truly found myself who I am suppose to be after having my kids. It's almost like having them has placed binoculars on my eyes and shown me what I'm truly suppose to do and has helped me realize what I really want out of life.

Nowadays, your life as a parent revolves around your children, where so much of what we do is dictated by our children's needs. So much so that mommy guilt has prevented so many moms from doing things we would like to do (things that seem selfish when the kids are in the picture) such as when I make my own meal and end up giving half of it away to share with my kids because it smelled so good and they wanted a bite or I should be spending quality time with my kids instead of going for a pedicure; there's always a little voice in our heads screaming you should spend more time with your kids or buy an educational toy instead of those pair of boots that you really want. But after having two children and literally running myself into the ground taking care of everyone's needs instead of my own, I literally burnt myself out. I've learned now that I really do need those 30 minutes of read a book or actually be able to sit down and eat my own meal not something that the kids couldn't finish. I've learned it's okay to lock the bathroom door and take a shower alone, even though you know when you come out of the bathroom the house will look like a bomb went off, but who cares you had 1 minutes of sheer silence without having to scream at your kid not to go into the toilet. It's hard to drown out the noise and little voice in your head, but I'm here to tell you from one mama to another it's okay to be a little selfish and you want to know the truth it'll make you a better mama once you have a little alone time, coming back feeling refreshed and back to be mom again.

Below are some great selfish things you need to do ;)

An actual walk alone to starbucks was a treat this particular day

A yummy vermicelli salad bowl I had made and actually ate all alone. It was so yummy and so weird to be able to sit down alone and eat something I wanted for a change

  1. Go out with the girls

  2. Hire a babysitter so you can get some sleep

  3. Keep the "good" candies for yourself

  4. Get the kids to bed early to watch your favourite show alone

  5. Lock the bathroom door and go pee in peace

  6. Spend free time reading your favourite magazine/book

  7. Skip PAC (Parent advisory committee) meeting for a manicure

  8. Make your own favourite food instead of the kids

  9. Swap exercise time for coffee date by yourself

  10. Hurry the kids to bed so you can catch your favorite show

  11. Eat the last yummy white chocolate macadamia nut cookie (my fave)

  12. Call on grandparents for a sleepover so you can go out on date with your partner

  13. Listen to your music instead of nursery rhymes during car ride home from school

  14. Take a vacation day from work and go shopping

  15. Scrap the home made dinner and call for take out instead

  16. Send kids outside to play so they don't mess up the rooms that you just cleaned

  17. Get a massage just because you could use some peace and quiet

  18. Send the kids outside to play so they don't mess up the rooms you just cleaned

  19. Enjoy that business trip because it includes a quiet night of dinner and sleep by yourself

  20. Ignore the to-do list for an hour and enjoy the peace and quiet of their being at school.

  21. Find time for a hobby that has nothing to do with work or your kids

This picture is literally minutes after I cleaned the entire house... I mean mopped, scrubbed top to bottom the whole house was tidy (spotless) so we immediately went outside for some fun. We also had a talk once coming back home that we clean up the mess we make.

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